I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
