you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
