I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
