If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
