I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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