we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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