smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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