I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
