Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
