Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
