Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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