omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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