the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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