Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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