i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
