I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
