You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
