Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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