If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
