Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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