why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
