things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
