Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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