i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
