sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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