walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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