Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
