I want you more than these girls want KFC
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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