Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize