I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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