Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
