you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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