well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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