The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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