just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
