so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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