this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
