she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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