So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
