i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
