He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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