My cat gives me a boner
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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