yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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