you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
