you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
