But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
