Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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