My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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