...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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