You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
