Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
