my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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