She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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