drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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