All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
