16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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