Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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